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Big Boys Don’t Cry

August 17, 2011

I don’t know if you remember a song from the 70’s called “I’m Not in Love” by 10CC. There is a line in the song that seems to come from the middle of nowhere with the haunting voice of a woman whispering, “Be quiet, big boys don’t cry.”  I love this song, but I have believed that line with many other men for way to long.

I had an amazing experience this weekend with a group of 30 men. Eyes of the Heart hosted a retreat that helps men uncover their Calling in life, and part of the process is telling your story in two different formats. I am always amazed at how hard life really is for everyone who stumbles through it, me included. I shed a lot of tears this weekend, and so did many others men there. You see big boys do cry.

Where the expressions “just suck it up”, or “don’t cry you sissy” originated from I would love to know. I don’t know if it was one particular man, or maybe a group or country that started this horrendous assault on men, but I would guess that Satan had something to do with it. Crying in front of others means weakness to so many, and they either attack or shone the behavior. Don’t run from it; we need to embrace it!

I am amazed at the people who think Jesus was a passive man; it makes me wonder if they actually read the Bible, or just listen to what others tell them about Jesus. Jesus was passionate, forceful and intentional. He was a warrior that we should model our life after, and Jesus wept (John 11:35). His friend Lazarus was dead, and it was the appropriate thing to do. If your emotions and your thoughts in life are out of balance, or the affect on you doesn’t match how others are experiencing a loss you are headed for a fall. Grieve what you need to grieve; cry when you need to cry. God gave us the ability to heal our own hearts, and like Jesus we must weep when our souls are hurting.

 You see Big Boys do cry!!!!!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Jorge Liceaga permalink
    August 17, 2011 2:07 pm

    I so passionately agree with your assessment on man-tears! Paul said, “…weep with those that weep.” No wonder we’re so messed up. We don’t cry enough! I loved this blog. Real men do cry. Crying is not weakness but rather a display of confidence and trust we have in the body of Christ and the face of our Almighty triune God. Couple of months ago, I told one of the guys, “You must think I’m a blubbering baby, everytime you see me I’m crying my eyes out.” He said, “No it is a sign of security you have in you.” That comment didn’t feel right but it was close. I’m the most insecure and co-dependent person I know. It’s the group that is secure, safe and strong that allows and encourages my grieving when it’s time to grieve. You hit a key element in this blog and it needed to be said. Your voice is desperately needed. Thanks for writing it.

  2. Jorge Liceaga permalink
    August 17, 2011 2:12 pm

    Oh, forgot to mention that tears of grief have been shown to contain a completely different chemical makeup than tears that lubricate and react to irritation. God knew what he was doing when he designed us to cry.

  3. Chuck permalink
    August 18, 2011 7:13 am

    During my Deacon Ordination, the Holy Spirit fully upon me, I never stopped crying tears of joy because I new it was a new beginning in my walk with the Lord. As each Man walked by laid their hands on me and prayed I could not stop. The Lord has now shown me what he expects out of me and It does require a lot of tears for “I am forgiven”. Cool and awesome that’s it. wip wipp

    • August 20, 2011 8:20 am

      Love you chuck and so excited about your new walk. Who would have thought you and I would be walking with God like we are. Thanks friend!

  4. Greg G permalink
    August 20, 2011 5:26 am

    Mike, I’ve learned to always bring a “bandana” to your events – sounds more masculine than a “hankie.” And, i use it! This was a GREAT weekend!

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