Skip to content

Pornography: The Prince of Thieves

May 11, 2011

There is an evil that permeates Christian culture in America more now than any other evil I know. It is the only sin left that is so easily hidden from view, and can somehow be compartmentalized by so many. It is like a cancer that you don’t find until it is at stage 4. I hear the justification so often in my counseling office, “I am not hurting anyone”. Are you kidding me? What about your wife who wonders where the intimacy in your marriage has gone? What about your children who wonder why you are always on the computer and want engage? What about the young girl being used like a piece of meat? What about the money you waste, which helps build empires of evil people who see women as objects to exploit? What about the woman who was raped last night because some sex addict addicted to porn finally got the courage to fulfill one of his bizarre fantasies? Are you kidding me? No you’re kidding yourself!

This culture already over emphasizes body image for women. Women have to be perfect, and when you’re wife finally catches you with pornography, and she will; it destroys her inside. She feels like she just isn’t enough for you. You see what all of us long for is intimacy; the feeling deep in our core that we are loved. If you are looking at pornography you are robbing your own heart of the true longings it desires; you have swallowed a counterfeit.

Many of the clients in my office, or men, who attend my retreats, have pornography problems. There are estimates that 70 % of the men sitting in today’s congregations this past Sunday looked at porn last week.  I know how much of a struggle this is for so many because I have struggled with it in my life as well. For some reason it was okay during the time we grew up for men to have Playboy in their houses. IT IS NOT!

Men are not going to change this problem; women are our only chance. There are enough men out there who think looking at pornography is okay. There are enough legitimate corporations profiting from pornography (Comcast, Marriott Corp., Qwest, Direct TV etc….) that are mostly run by men.  Unfortunately, it will be another burden dumped in the lap of women, so all of you wives take note. If your husband, teenagers, family members or anyone that you come into contact with condones pornography use they are under the spell of the Prince of Thieves and they are trying to steal your life, and in the process destroy themselves. Treat it that way! Put filters on your family computers, and don’t give any man the key to unlock it. Force them to deal with their issues. Applaud them when they do seek help, or talk to their friends. Do not embarrass or shame them; this is the fuel of the Prince of Thieves. Write letters to congress demanding that Pornography is no different from other addictions (tobacco, alcohol and drugs), and they must somehow stop the proliferation of pornography into mainstream America. We have to make a stand against this evil!

Don’t let the Prince of Thieves steal your family.

If you need resources for dealing with this problem email me at mike @eyesoftheheart.com.

Advertisements
21 Comments leave one →
  1. Expeditions permalink
    May 11, 2011 7:06 am

    Mike

    When we had the “Cave” at church a lot of men began to seek help for this. One brother got into a 12 step program that was excellent. I think the answer for this addiction is a small group of trusted warriors coming around a hurting brother to walk him out of this addiction and more importantly they need to help him use the strength he has for the Kingdom of light. That is the answer, its in finding his glory and helping him move into that. I think this addiction develops because a man has become passive with the glory of his life and has failed to take risks, so the risk gets worked out in a lower life form.

    Thank-you for standing with these men Mike and offering hope. I love your life.

    Jeff

    • May 11, 2011 7:28 am

      It is thievery at it’s best and passivity is the water used to swallow the pill. It is hard to step into your glory when you have the albatross of “sex addict” associated with your name. Love you brother! Keep up the fight!

  2. May 11, 2011 8:19 am

    Mike,
    So many men are actually small boys when they are approached by this evil. Imagine a small boy 6 or 7 opening up a pornographic magazine for the first time. The inocense is there, but so is the curiosity. With no one there to guide him the curiosity grows, the evil grows and the innocence fades away. I am finding that grace is just not enough by itself. Speaking truth into what was lost and what needs to be recovered has to happen. To do that we have to find a safe place… .it was Ebenzer for me. Once you find that safe place the healing can begin. Then the real test is to share that wound with those you love the most. It’s a journey…… Love your readings man.
    Stay in the fight! Jp

    • May 11, 2011 8:27 am

      Thanks Jack! Ebenezer is a holy place for sure! Isn’t it sad that we spend more time trying to buy our kids happiness instead of protecting their innocence. Love you bro!

  3. Roane Hunter permalink
    May 11, 2011 12:03 pm

    Mike,

    As you are well aware and so many verses illustrate, one’s relationship with other human beings provides an accurate measuring stick for the state of one’s relationship with God. We are only as sick as our secrets – and our Body is sick all over. The antidote is simple – openness and transparency – this especially includes our wives (yikes!) as well as others . We are all addicted to something and in the final analysis, addiction is never about the drug of choice (porn in this case); it comes down to dishonesty, self-centeredness, and irresponsibility. But it is risky because who wants to admit this to anyone – maybe it was a problem in the past but now I am “Christain Superman” unaffected by porn kryptonite. It is such a great lie perpetuated by scared little men standing in pulpits across the country afraid to be honest while hungry, starving men die – isolated & disconnected, choking on their shame. We must become a channel for God’s grace by continuing to admit our shortcomings and working with others as they do the same. The strength of honesty, essential for emotional/mental/spiritual health, is reflected in ever-widening circles in the lives of others. As more and more persons know all of our secrets and transgressions, we achieve freedom from the constant fear of being found out. We can change the past by dealing with it consciously and positively in the present. With the present no longer a hostage of the past, we begin to live effectively and joyously in the moment. The method is there in James 5:16, waiting to be rediscovered. Sadly, most men don’t understand the poison pill of porn and how it is affecting their lives. I first took the pill around age 7 or 8 but didn’t step into the battle against it until age 28 – I have been fighting a war in my life and the lives of others ever since – for over 20 years now. Be prepared – it is a war for our souls and the enemy will not relent – nor will the “sin that lives in me” as a result of my own choices of dishonesty/self-centeredness/irresponsibility. There is hope and it is Christ in one another! Let us strive for purity as we fight the good fight – quit hiding and step into the fight with fellow warriors under the white flag of surrender!

    Thanks Mike for addressing this issue head on! Love you bro!

    • May 11, 2011 2:31 pm

      Coming from you Roane this comment means more for my heart than you can imagine. I am sick and tired of the disease in this country of hiddenness. What have we been teaching through education, religion and occupation? Whatever it is we need to stop. Porn is just another addiction; the real disease is exactly what you’re saying! Love you brother! Miss you bad!

    • Jorge Liceaga permalink
      May 12, 2011 9:16 pm

      Roane, you da man bro! Your words have my most heartful endorsement. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

      • May 13, 2011 3:52 am

        Roane is the man!!

  4. Chuck permalink
    May 12, 2011 6:56 am

    Yep, I do not know one single male that has not gone through this. I am asked all the time to help block this kind of activity from a families PC. Help yourself by putting all computers in the open family room…it is a good start.
    I had a collection of playboys dating back over 25 years (think of all the money I wasted) and thought that I would sell them to a collector one day. When Lord and I started our walk together again, after many years on my on, he instructed me to not corrupt anyone else with this, so they were burned. Even as I through them in the fire I was tempted to look at them “one last time”. Stronger that steal and faster then a speeding bullet.
    A lot of Christin’s do not like to even say the words porn,sex ,etc. thanks for bringing this to the top.

    • May 12, 2011 7:52 am

      Love you Chuck. I have been to quite a few porn burnings in my life. I think it is getting worse for many men out there because of the accesibility of the Internet. Next time I am in MS we need to get together and have a beer brother!

  5. Karen permalink
    May 12, 2011 7:52 am

    I’m a casualty of porn. My husband was/is addicted. We were divorced 4 years ago because he chose porn over me. To lay the responsibility on the women is wrong, my heart tells me. To expect the broken, crushed woman whose very womanhood has been attacked is not right. When are the men who are giving themselves over to this stuff going to stand up and say enough? How many more marriages have to crash and burn. I wasn’t hateful or demanding when I asked my husband how we could get help. I was loving and kind. He refused. Sorry, but I think the men are the ones who need to seek help. I am so tired. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust again. Ladies, say after me, “It is not my fault! It is not my fault!” Tears and heartache here. God has done so much to heal me from this terrible plague on my broken marriage, but still…when will I ever be able to trust another man?

    • May 12, 2011 7:59 am

      I am not laying the responsibilty at the feet of women. Men are just not going to step up and do it. This blog has been read by more people than any blog of mine in the last year, but only seven comments were made. I fight for women in this situation everyday, and I feel your pain. I stood up yesterday and attacked this stronghold and today I am paying the price. People do not want porn to go away. I am only enlisting the help of women because they will get it done if their family is at risk. You are better off without him if you can’t trust him. My prayers today will be for your heart! God Bless You!

    • Jorge Liceaga permalink
      May 12, 2011 9:31 pm

      Let me say it for you. It is not your fault…it is NOT your fault! Men need other men to confront them. The only thing a spouse can and should do is to create a boundary. Only God and other people can speak into the life of the addict if there is a relationship there to begin with. However, there’s nothing anyone can do for the addict who buries his/her secret. It is a painful thing to have suffered through the pain of someone else’s addiction and the truth is that sometimes the natural consequence of this plague is a broken marriage. I speak from experience. One caveat in all this is that as a believer in objective bible truth, all people have been subjected to the consequences of the fall and as such a spouse does not need to get into the high places just because they’ve been victimized. We ALL have broken parts. The addict is in a great battle if they’re aware of their self and if they’re not aware of their self, then they are a slave and in dire need of rescue. An addict cannot rescue himself/herself, otherwise it would not be called rescue, that’s where God comes in.

      • May 13, 2011 3:59 am

        Great comment Jorge. Now we need to attack the source and stop talking about it. We need to boycott companies that propagate porn. I no longer have a television in my house. My whole family was ready to kill me, but now we watch movies and talk at night instead of sitting mesmorized in front of the TV. My children no longer have access to HBO, Cinemax or pay for porn. Do I miss NBA games? Yes, but my families sexuality is more important. More to come on this subject I promise brother. We need to help of our wives as much as our brothers to take back our sexuality!!

  6. Karen permalink
    May 12, 2011 7:56 am

    Edit: should have said, “To expect the broken,crushed woman whose very womanhood has been attacked to come in and fix it all and be the one to do all the fighting for her marriage and for the man’s purity in it is not right.”

    Sure, we do all we can, but the man has to fight the enemy on this, too!!!

  7. May 12, 2011 9:51 am

    Mike, thank you! Early exposure to this, at age 6 or 7, through some family members carelessness and lack of sensitivity opened up a whole host of struggles and issues for me in this one too. In part of my wounded heart of my formative years the messages came that caused me to be angry for important fatherly figures not being there for me in the right way and caused me to rely and be attached to females too deeply. All this caused me to miss a great deal of masculinity when I should have gotten it passed on to me at critical junctures. Thank the Father that he intervened and found other times and places and people to bestow upon me what I missed then. To be rescued in this way by God is beyond what we can think or imagine. Thanks for writing this here, I join you praying for other men and women to be rescued and restored in these ways. And I pray for you as the Ephesians were asked to pray for Paul in Ephesians 6…praying that you will be bold in fearlessly proclaiming the mysteries of the Gospel!!!

  8. May 12, 2011 2:09 pm

    Thanks Mike for bringing this out in the light. The overwhelming majority of men I know are dealing with this battle , whether or not they admit it. We can’t fight it alone. God doesn’t want us to, that’s why He doesn’t let healing start until we let our brothers come alongside and fight with us. Then His power is unleashed.
    I know. I have exerienced it over and over.

  9. May 12, 2011 2:18 pm

    Thanks Dude! You did a great job this weekend, and without others it is impossible to beat this beast! James 5:16 Love you man!

  10. Jorge Liceaga permalink
    May 12, 2011 9:12 pm

    We were talking about this very topic last Tuesday morning at the Shoney’s on High St. Someone else also brought up the same statistic about 70% of men in the church looked at porn last week. My response was that it was really 100% because the rest are lying! That’s right, I said it. Porn has a life of its own in every man’s head, even without having to sit in front of the computer. I should know. My pornographic thought life has bullied my heart for more than four decades. For more than four decades, I was under the delusion that I had gone unaffected. What a lie! I’ve already suffered one broken marriage, two broken engagements, many other serious relationships and almost suffered the loss of a second marriage because my pornographic thought life kept me a slave until I opened up in front of dozens of men and told them about my addiction to obsessive lust. And that was only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve engaged in so much dangerous risky behavior because of my exposure to porn. It is the plague of our modern culture. Maybe we can thank Paul Rubens (the Flemish Baroque painter, NOT Peewee Herman) for starting it all. What ever the reason, it is the men in this circle that have already made a huge difference in my life and will continue to do so because I am committed to continue to show up when we gather. I need them and they need me. WE need each other. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. I never want to be free of this group of the most loving men who are filled with grace and truth to be there supporting me in my weakness. I love you all and I love you Mike for being naked and unashamed on this much ignored issue in the body of Christ.

  11. Joe Guyton permalink
    May 14, 2011 10:58 am

    Mike
    I’ve been wanting to comment on this all week; but, I’ve had a 2 yr old crawling on me and it is difficult to concentrate and compose yourself with that distraction occurring. This is something that I struggled with for years. There is nothing in Mississippi or Jackson that compares with the amount of filth that is available to corrupt your soul here in Dallas.

    When I moved out here, I got caught in it; and, it almost cost me my life. It took some time and deep soul searching for me to really look deep at my soul and find myself again in Christ to get the strength to overcome this weakness. I have learned the truth and your blog certainly helps me reinforce that belief that it is wrong in every way. It corrupts our souls, our lives and damages our ability to become true Christians.

    I found that the women you meet in these arenas are incapable of true love. Their love lasts as long as your money lasts. In addition, there is the guilt that you feel of using people. Everything about it stinks; and, I’m glad that I broke away from that lifestyle. Please keep up your good work. Reading blogs like yours makes us all stronger and reminds us that we are here to do God’s work and live in his glory.

    Thanks

    Joe

    • May 15, 2011 5:46 pm

      Glad things are heading in the right direction Joe!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: